Smile Smile cry!!!

Its almost as if I cant be happy...I wanna be happy...So bad!! But something or the other keeps pulling me down...

What the hell am I talking bout, u ask me!! I will tell you...

3 years back, on this very day, I met him for the first time...My Mr.Right...Today 3 yrs later, am sitting alone at home, this very day...Writing on a blog...Doesn't say too much of my love life, does it?

Sleepless nights

Hello there once again...

I dunno wats gotten into me...I just cant manage to sleep...Sleepless nights haunt me, for the last coupla nites...

I just sit online, lissen to songs, reading books online...

Madness you would call it, insomnia i would!!

Me, myself...alone!!!

It may seem like just another post to you...but this one is different...at least for me it is...I was always the kinda girl who hated doin things alone..This habit stemmed, perhaps, from the fact that i was always surrounded by people...

Being the youngest in the family, having two elder siblings, one dog, and a homemaker mom around didnt exactly give you the chance to be alone or have any privacy for that matter...Not like i minded it though...I was pretty lost widout all of em around me!!! (I still feel lost sometimes)

The first time i actually decided to do somethin alone was when i decided to join St.Xavier's college to do my Arts...All my school friends were optin for commerce or science...n were goin to colleges near by...but i chose Xaviers...coz tats where i wanted to be...(am glad i joined it) My 1st day in college was overwhelming...the place was new, the ppl were new...There was no one frm my school there.. i was the only one, n i wasnt sure whether i wud fit in...

Now an entire year has passed since i left college, n I can tell you one thing for sure...I did fit in...Much better than i expected...Not only did i fit in, but i also did pretty well for myself...rite from being the Secretary of the AICUF one yr (All India Catholic University Federation) to being a part of the SSL (Social Service League) to bein the CULTURAL SECRETARY of the college, to being part of the STUDENT COUNCIL and how can i forget, the CHIEF EDITOR of the COLLEGE MAGAZINE....it was fun...loadsa fun....

I perhaps did do better off in a college that i had entered ALONE...but once i was there, i wasnt really alone, was I??

I was always hesitant bout doin things alone...I always saw myself more like the groupie!!!

But thats coming to change now...

Mom's in Muscat now, wid dad n wid Tess n Tony (my sis n bro respectively) married n settled seperately, it leaves me alone...Trixie (my doggie) is still wid me tho!!! But i am pretty much on my own...N am gettin used to it now...the feeling of bein alone...N am kinda beginnin to enjoy it as well!! For one, i have more time to blog now...lol....

The last thing that i remember doin alone was attending the Kalaghoda Arts festival '09 all by myself...The 1st day tat i went, Hitesh (Hunny) and Diksha (Singh) were wid me...but post that, the other 2 days, i went alone..n it was great...I could decide wat to do, as n wen i pleased...I watched dance performances, whistling performances, plays (I absolutely bloody loved them)

In fact i specifically remember stayin back for this play called 'PROOF'...N am sure glad i stayed on...it was brilliant...

Proof is a play by David Auburn...The play concerns Catherine, the daughter of Robert, a recently deceased mathematical genius and professor at the University of Chicago , and her struggle with mathematical genius and mental illness. Catherine had cared for her father through a lengthy mental illness. Upon Robert's death, his ex-graduate student Hal discovers a paradigm-shifting proof about prime numbers in Robert's office. The title refers both to that proof and to the play's central question: Can Catherine prove the proof's authorship? Along with proving the proof, the daughter also finds herself in a relationship with 28-year-old Hal. Throughout, the play explores Catherine's fear of following in her father's footsteps, both mathematically and mentally. (found this on wikipedia, the plot synopsis...was too lazy to put it down myself)

It was later made into a movie...Gwyneth Paltrow played Catherine in the film...

I absolutely bloody enjoyed watchin the play alone...wid no one there wid me...It made a world's difference to me that I had finally felt like doing something alone...Hope to keep doin similar things in the future...cheers to that!!