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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

From bruised knees to broken hearts... The journey


(P.S.: This is generally at the end... But am gonna put it rite up here for everyone's benefit.. This post is partly fictitious and partly truth... figure out the parts for yourself)

Well, if you're expectin this particular post to be profound (Am assumin u get it from the name); BEWARE... Am known to fool (very easily infact)

Life sometimes moves faster than you can even comprehend (Well, atleast the first line seems profound.. Lets c how this goes and more importantly, where it goes) When I look back at my school days now, some memories seem blurred.. You mite never remember who you shared a bench with in your fourth grade or who that annoying boy was who kept squirtin water at you.. But there are still some memories that stand out, as vividly as can be.. You will never be able to forget things like your last day at school, fillin out those numerous slam/autograph books, receivin that award from the principal (best student of the year, et al); or playin that crucial inter-school carrom board competition that you won eventually and the ecstacy you felt when u did win...

A couple of days back, as I sat down to clear out my shelf (Well, I can almost hear my mom say 'FINALLY'!); I came across this one folder... I always knew my certificates were in it (the numerous inter-school and intra-school were hidden there)... Neatly stacked according to the years in which I received em... I opened the folder (nostalgia hittin me already) - Memories floodin me... That 1st relay race that we won... The skippin race in the 4th grade, where I came in 1st.. The dance competion that I won... All of those thoughts rushin back to my mind..

I dug further into the folder, and another envelope came tumbling out.. It (the envelope) almost seemed to find a sweet spot on my lap and plop itself there...
'Hmmm.. So what's in here, I wonder!!!'

No prizes for guessing what the contents of tat half torn envelope looked like... They looked like old photographs.. Yeah!! I had finally found em.. My class pictures from school.. (NOT somethin I would wanna show anyone else though) Shaite... Can't believe we all looked so silly in school, wid the tied up oily hair n glasses et al... Today that has been replaced by highlights and contact lenses.. More painful, yet attractive (or so we believe!!! Hav u seen some of these Mulund women wid blonde highlights.. Yikes!!!!!)


As I went through those pictures, I knew I had to write a post about school... BUT as usual, like most ardent bloggers wud agree, we sometimes are jus so friggin lazy to get our asses down to our writin seat!!! (Yeah.. I can almost see some of u grinnin wid agreement)


Today, however, was a different day.. (Same Shyt Different Day)... I went to pick up my niece, Tia, from school.. She has started goin to the same school that we all went to (My bro, my sis, me, our neighbours, etc etc etc - U get the point, dont u?) When I was there, standin outside the gate of the school brought back old memories... Rushin, gushin, pushin.. I had to call someone... Someone from school... Couldn't think of anyone who would be free... (Well, we have doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs, event managers, photographers, but we dont have lukkhas... Dammit!!!) I eventually managed to remember one person who might have been free.. It was worth a shot... I called him... He answered...


Me: 'Hey... Wassup'


Him: 'Nuttin much... Kya chal raha hai?'


Me: 'Hmmmmm.. (long pause) Wanna meet up kya?'


Him: 'Sure!! Par kidhar?'


(Shyt, I havent been so tongue tied while speakin to a prospective guy)


Me: 'Mere ghar pe'


Him: (Reluctantly) Okies


*click*


It was done... The most dreaded conversation was finally over... Why was that so weird... Didnt he n me like share a bench somewhere like a decade back.. N now, here we are... Findin it weird to invite each other home... So much changes eh!!!


My niece came outta school jus then... I dropped her at my sis-in-law's... And I rushed back home to meet the man!!!! On seein each other, we HUGGED!!! Gosh!!! That felt good... Reconnectin wid an old friend, like this... (I was beginnin to feel a lil more comfortable by now)


We headed back to my place... We were climbin up the last flight of stairs before my house, when I stopped to remove the keys from my bag... That's the time when he realized we were gonna be alone, in my house... He almost started sweatin.. Dammit, I hadnt realized this wud be so much of an issue... Given my background and the familial backgrounds of my college friends and all, an empty house always meant loud music and alcohol...


Finally we settled down, in our respective seats and started 'catchin up'...


An hour passed and then another and then another... The 'catchin up' had begun wid us discussin our academics and work lives... Gone onto love lives... Gone onto sexual histories... Gone onto us discussin sexual fantasies... Gone onto gossip... (Well, men love it too) We were actually having fun.. I couldn't believe we were the same 2 people who had initially taken around 2 yrs to begin talkin to each other, another 2 yrs (post school) to lose touch wid each other and another 2 min conversation to get back at it again...Weird eh??


A good ten yrs back, it had all started with a silly bruise... I had fallen down while playin dodge ball and had scraped the skin off my knee... We were almost 12 then, but I was still a self proclaimed cry baby... I used to like it when people noticed that I was in pain (Well sometimes I still do.. But let's not get there) He had sat on the bench behind me the entire year, but it was the 1st time we spoke... He asked me if my knee was troublin me a lot... (Awwwwwww... Shoooooo Shweeeetttt) He used to be a very shy boy; so this comin from him was unexpected!!!


BACK TO THE PRESENT :

What struck me the most about our conversation was the fact that we both looked highly beaten up when we spoke about our respective broken relationships from the past... Well, I almost saw a tear roll down, and him wipin it off just in time... I wanted to hold him, hug him and tell him that it would be okay... Just as I put my hand on my knee (one of those reassurin touches that women are good wid) realization dawned upon me... It was a bruise on my knee that had made us friends.. N here we are today.. Almost a decade later, nursin each others wounds, only the wounds r of a different kind this time...


My favourite quotes of all times is this : THIS TOO SHALL PASS...


I know he and me will get over our past and move on... But in the meanwhile, it has made me think of all the things we lose along the journey.. Innocence - lost, hair - lost, ability to trust blindly - lost, friends - lost, questioning mind - lost, the ability to understand the value of someone's lovin touch - well, partly lost...


The journey from bruised knees to broken hearts does take a lot away from us... But what it leaves us with is a brand new person on the outside, wid essence of the same old person inside...


7 comments:

Aw.S.M said...

True,,very true....time changes everything but in essence we remain the same person though the outward face that we portray might be different.

Real nice post yaar...touching :)

luv
amith

Zendagi Migzara said...

Yester years came back in a flash.. The bruises then were enjoyable, some tears shed giving way to yet another smile... Not like the ones today...

But yes I am liking the "Renovated Me"... :-)

Tabitha said...

@Amith

We're everchangin animals... However, it is the essence that matters at the end of the day... Who are we? What is it that we're made up of??

@Sheensi

I love the Renovated you too.. Am glad I gave you an opportunity to watch a mental slideshow of some of your fav memories!!!

Stupidosaur said...

Ah well. I aint much for emo posts. Especially one which claims to be part fiction ;)

So let me get into my elements...

A very good sentence you got there girl!

"THIS TOO SHALL PASS..."

The next time I meet Pappu, I am gonna point at him and say it ;)

Tabitha said...

@Stupidosaur...

There's a lot beyond emo posts happenin here.. Feel free to check it out as n when u wanna..

Personally, I wud suggest u read a post titled 'Dr.Jeckyll and Tabi Hydes'

dvs said...

tabi darling,this was the most touchy post from u,amazing flow of thoughts,Absolutely love reading ur blog dear...

Tabitha said...

Thanks dev boy.. Am glad you liked readin it!!! This one's close to ma heart as well